Growing

 Have you ever had a moment of growth, or a deeper understanding of Scripture or an "ah ha" moment that happened in a subtle way or while you were totally alone or just through your quiet time with God? If someone walked up to you they wouldn't see anything different on the outside but on the inside you had just radically changed? 

In a lot of ways that is 2020 for me. Apart from 2020 being the craziest year in the history of the World (I kid, but sometimes it feels that way) and all that it's trials and challenges have brought, the Lord in His goodness and wisdom has used those and some additional trials to pinpoint where I need to grow. To expose wrong ways of thinking, to expose old hurts that I had let affect me, to expose sin, to cause growth, and basically I feel as though I have been laid open on an operating table while He does detailed surgery on my heart. 

If you walked up to me I would just look like me. Super Tall, brown hair, kind of awkward. But if you saw my heart you might not know me. 

What do you do when you feel you have grown and changed so much, but its' quiet, just between you and God? Has anyone else ever felt this way? 

(Do you remember that scene from "You've got mail" ... "I don't really want an answer, I'm just sending this question out into the void. Goodnight dear void." ... Stephanie I know you know)

Well here are just a few things on my heart, in no particular order that I just want to get out:

1. Simple Living... Like really simple. I'm already a minimalist, but if I thought I could stand up straight in a Tiny House, I might just get one. Not really.... but don't tempt me. 

2. Raising MEN. Men who can stand up for the Word. Men who will fight for what is right in the face of unspeakable odds. Men who will hold the standard high. How. Do. You. Do. That? pray pray pray pray pray. Any suggestions? Please let me know.

3. Not letting go of joy and humor when life is crazy.

4. Being honest about past hurts and giving them over to God.

5. Not fearing peoples responses as we make choices for our family. I'm 34! I'm a grown woman! Stay in your own lane and leave me alone! Just kidding... but really

6. To never stop or even slow down on pursuing deeply those I love.

7. That without Christ it's all nothing. Nothing.